Remembering my friend Rich

On Christmas we celebrate the birth of the One who gave His life so that we may have eternal life. On Christmas the earthly journey ended for my friend Rich.

I don't recall when I first met Rich. It was sometime in the 1990's. I had heard he was the best pro-life attorney in the country, and I still believe that.

Rich was instrumental in Elva Messiah, now age 16, having an opportunity at life. The obit below describes it this way: "..Rich was involved in numerous high-profile cases, including his 1997 appointment by a Superior Court judge to represent an unborn baby.."

I recall the many times I had the privilege of speaking with Rich in person, on the phone, via email and those rare personal appearances, often at the Gateway banquets or the Legal Center for the Defense of Life brunches. 

He taught me that if you wear a tuxedo more than a few times, it's best to purchase one. I've never wear a tux (except at my wedding and at the HS prom 41 years ago) but it's still good advice.

I have two special memories.

One late evening Rich called and asked that I accompany him to serve a court order in South Jersey. We first went to the judge's home around midnight, then to the home of a fourteen year old around 1am. 

The girl jumped out her bedroom window to sign the papers. She was determined not to be forced to abort her baby. As usual, Rich had that gentle and prayerful concern for that teen and for those parents he faced at the door when he served the court order. The parents relented and the girl carried her baby to term. Because of the kind of man Rich was very few probably know of this. I recall noticing his well-worn bible in the car, as well as one of the first car phones I had ever seen. It seems both had seen much use in his work.

A few years later I was pleased to bring my son Jeremy, then still a young teen, to Rich's home in Belle Mead. We met Janet and picked up the cabinets they were donating to Gateway.  

Rich was a faithful supporter of Gateway and a past recipient of our 'Friend of Gateway' Award for his years of work on behalf of the preborn we both were called to care for. He prepared a Durable Power of Attorney and  a Power of Attorney for Health Care which I continue to use for myself, my family and friends that need assistance.

When my dad died at age 100 in January 2011, Rich traveled from NJ to Long Island in a snowstorm to pay his respects. He did this after seeing his ill father earlier in the day in Northern NJ.  That visit meant so much to me, knowing that he had honored my father in this way. I often no longer shed many tears, but I do so now for my friend.

By September 2012 Rich was still giving me advice by email, although he no longer could attend out banquets because as he put it 'my immune system is suppressed by the chemo.' 

I recently went through a bout with cancer, but I'm sure nothing like what was experienced by Rich. Even in his last condition statement that I posted, he remained thankful and upbeat, saying  'But other than all this, everything is just ducky! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.'

It's been two and a half years of infrequent postings on this 'Pray for Rich Collier' Blog. We now can close this Blog, knowing that his work here has been completed. Please keep Janet and the family in your prayers. 

If you can make it to the viewing or church service, I'm sure this would bring comfort to the family.

Thanks for those good memories, my friend. I will miss you. As my fellow Greeks would say at this time, 'May his memory be eternal' .

Richard F. Collier Jr.   Obituary

Richard F. Collier Jr.  / AGE: 63 • Belle Mead

Richard F. Collier Jr., 63, of Belle Mead, passed away on Christmas Day, Dec. 25, 2013. Rich was born in Teaneck to the late Richard and Catherine Collier. A graduate of Bergen Catholic High School, Harvard College (cum laude) and Boston University School of Law, he served two years as a law clerk for a federal judge in Trenton before spending 36 years in private practice specializing in litigating sophisticated commercial disputes. 

He served as president of the Somerset County Bar Association; Chairman of the Ethics Committee for Hunterdon, Somerset and Warren Counties; Chairman of the Federal Practice Committee of the State Bar Association; member of the Lawyers Advisory Committee for the federal courts in N.J.; and member of the N.J. State Advisory Committee of the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights. 

Since 1989, Rich served as president of the Legal Center for Defense of Life, a non-profit organization providing legal services to protect human life, from conception to natural death, especially the life of the unborn baby in the womb. As one of the state's premiere pro-life lawyers, Rich was involved in numerous high-profile cases, including his 1997 appointment by a Superior Court judge to represent an unborn baby and his appointment by the State Legislature to defend its statute banning partial-birth abortion, also in 1997. But of all his achievements, Rich was proudest of his family.

He was the devoted husband of Janet A. Collier for 36 years and the beloved father of Megan Reilly and her husband Michael, Sean Collier and his wife Kelly, and Matthew Collier and his wife Shannon. He was the dear brother of Robert Collier and the late Brian Collier. Rich is also survived by six loving grandchildren, John (Jack), Daniel, Mark, William, Matthew, and a child due in July. He was a good, faith-filled man, known for his kindness and generosity, who will be sorely missed.

The family will receive their relatives and friends from 2 to 6 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 29 at Mather-Hodge Funeral Home, 40 Vandeventer Ave., Princeton. The family will gather with their family and friends for the Funeral Mass at 10 a.m. Monday, Dec. 30 at St. Paul R.C. Church, 214 Nassau St., Princeton. Interment will follow at St. Hedwig's Cemetery, Ewing. In lieu of flowers, memorial gifts can be made in Rich's name to the Legal Center for Defense of Life, 14 Franklin St., Morristown, NJ; Life Choices, 156 S. Main St., Phillipsburg, NJ; or Good Counsel Homes, P.O. Box 6068, Hoboken, NJ.

Published in Asbury Park Press on Dec. 27, 2013

See more at: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/mycentraljersey/obituary.aspx?n=richard-f-collier&pid=168752090&#sthash.sFMgnyP6.dpuf

Update on Rich Collier! - - as of September 23rd.

Richard writes this: "The PET scan in March was unable to detect the cancer that had been seen in my liver and my lungs in earlier scans.  So they took me off of infused chemo and put me on oral chemo, and they radiated my left hip.  In July, they did another PET scan to check up on things.

They found that the cancer had come back with a vengeance in my liver and my lungs, and had spread to new places in my liver and my lungs, as well as to my right hip, my neck, and my shoulders.  They radiated my right hip, my neck, and my shoulders for two weeks, then put me back on heavy-duty infused chemo.

An MRI two weeks ago shows cancer in my lower spine as well.  So far, my reaction to the resumed treatments is a cut or two worse than how I felt prior to March.  And lately I have been having pain from the waste down, which they have been unable to find the cause of.

But other than all this, everything is just ducky! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers."

Folks - feel free to drop Rich a note of encouragement:

rcollier@collierlaw.net

 

 

Rich writes:

The cancer has returned with a vengeance.  In the places where it used to be (on the lungs and in the liver), it has returned stronger than before, and it has spread to new places in the lungs and liver.  

It has also spread to my right hip and to my neck and both my shoulders.  

They are going to start radiation on the hip, shoulders and neck on Friday morning; that will last a couple of weeks.  

After that, I assume they will put me back on heavy-duty infused chemo.  (In early April, they took me off of infused chemo and put me on chemo pills; 
it is now obvious that the pills did not work.)

Please thank everyone for their prayers!

July 19, 2013

Richard writes:

"Am doing pretty much OK, but still sleep a lot and have 
a few other minor things to keep me occupied.  

Have a PET scan coming up soon, which will tell me 
where I stand with the cancer itself.  Got good news 
last time (March), so I hope for more of the same."

ed. note: Keep praying folks!!

May 6, 2013

Rich writes in part:

"Not sure how I'm feeling.  As you know, last summer cancer was found in my hip, my liver, and my lungs.  In mid-March, a PET scan could not see any cancer in my liver or lungs, which was great news (but not definitive; doctors can't say it's not there, just that they can't see it any more, which means that the chemo worked or a miracle happened or both).  But the same PET scan said that the cancer in my hip was progressing. 

Concomitantly, my hip and left leg began to hurt a lot.  So they decided to do radiation on the hip, and to switch the chemo from infused to oral.  Am in the middle of three weeks of radiation now.  The hip and leg have stopped hurting.  Still have a lot of the old side effects, especially lack of energy, sleeping during the day, bowel problems, swollen, constantly cold and lumpy feet, and over the past 6 weeks my hair has started to curl itself.  Anyway, am not sure where I am and where things are going.  You learn to just endure whatever they throw at you next.

Speaking of which, my son Matt and his wife Shannon, who were married in September, are due in August, and my daughter Megan and her husband Mike are expecting their third in December (which will bring me up to five grandchildren), so not everything one has to endure is negative.

I hope you and your family are well.  And please thank everyone for their continued prayers, which are surely being heard by God.

Cheers, Rich

January 7, 2013

Please continue to pray for Rich. He is on chemo five days a week 
(three at the hospital and two at home). 

His last email began with : 'Merry Christmas, and may you and your 
family have a happy, holy, and healthy New Year!